Wild Mo Bros Power Rankings - Week 2

Friday, 11.15.2013 / 10:00 AM
Mike Doyle  - Managing Editor


Well, it’s MOvember again and the Wild Mo Bros are back at it, growing their soup strainers for men’s health. Check out the Wild's MOvember page, presented by Jack Link's Beef Jerky, to join the team. You can also see all the cookie dusters at the team's photo gallery. Since the players are doing their part, Wild.com is doing its part and trying to determine the best Wild moustache. Without further ado, here are the Week 2 Wild Mo Bros Power Rankings.

The Mark McGwire Division


For Mo’s that might be juicing.

Justin Fontaine - Last week, Fontaine shocked the world, jumping to a Number 2 in the Mo Bros Power Rankings. This week, the forward is under investigation by the Power Ranking committee for (clearing throat) unnatural enhancements. Is his Mo too good to be true? We’re currently analyzing past MoPhotos and comparing them to the most recent batch, in the hope that we can clear his name by next week.

The Grizzly Adams Division


The Division for those taking the No-shave November to another level.

Dany Heatley – Heater is really taking up the cause for men’s health. He’s not just growing a Mo, it looks like he’s thrown away all of his razors. Let me tell you, there is nothing more annoying than an itchy neck beard, but Heatley is throwing comfort to the curb for the cause. Now that’s commitment.

The Hollywood Hulk Hogan Division


When the Hulkster turned his back on all the little Hulkamaniacs out there, he grew out the side scruff to go along with the famous blonde Trucker Stache.

Clayton Stoner – The blueliner isn’t a stranger to the Trucker Stache, he rocked it two Movembers ago. But this season, he’s mixing the trucker with a lumberjack and going ultra macho. Stoner looks like he’d not only cut down some Redwoods, but also jump into his 16-wheeler and haul them cross-country.

The Yosemite Sam Division


The Division for the ginger-tinted soup strainers.

Kyle Brodziak– Last week, I called Brodziak’s Mo the Golden Gate Bridge of moustaches. Well, like San Francisco’s most famous landmark, Brodziak has a chance to become an icon of the red ‘stache. After some intensive research (typing “famous red moustaches” in Google), I’ve decided there are only two red Mo’s more famous than Brodziak’s: Yosemite Sam and Lanny McDonald. Congrats Brodzy, you’re on the Mount Rushmore of red soup strainers!

The Super Mario Bros. Division


Mo's strong enough to battle Koopa Troopas.

Torrey Mitchell & Zenon Konopka – Since they signed on the same day two summers ago, it’s hard to mention one without the other. With their Mo’s, the pair looks like they’re ready to navigate the Mushroom Kingdom, take on Bowser and save Princess Toadstool.

The Prince Rogers Nelson Division


These Mo’s have been purified in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.

Matt Dumba – While Dumba’s cookie duster is yet to reach the Purple One’s level of stage presence, it is on the verge of Morris Day’s—and that’s a pretty decent opening act. Of course, Dumba probably has never heard of The Time: Jungle Love was released 10 years before he was born.

Nate Prosser – The defenseman looks like he should be rocking First Avenue with that glorious ‘stache and flavor saver. Go ahead and laugh in the Purple Rain, Prosser, you deserve it.

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